Fox News Anchor: “And we interrupt this episode of XFactorUSA to bring you some breaking news…Creech Air Force Base, Nevada, has been hit by a series of bomb blasts. There are scores of casualties, both military and civilian. Responsibility for the attacks has been claimed by an insurgent group whose leadership are known to operate out of the remote tribal regions of northwest Pakistan. A spokesman for the group has issued a statement in the last hour describing the bombings as an act of, quote, “self-defence”. Annnd, I understand we’re able to cut straight to the White House, where the President is taking questions from the press…”
Journalist1: “Mr President, Mr President? I understand the perpetrators have claimed this was an act of “self-defence”. How do you respond to that?”
President: “Well, clearly that’s nonsense. This was a despicable act of TERRORISM – plain and simple.”
Journalist2: “But don’t we offer the same justification for drone strikes in Pakistan, Mr President?”
President: [glancing anxiously at Press Secretary] “Uhhh… well, yes. But, uh, clearly that’s a different situation. And it would be wrong to draw any kind of equivalence between what our brave servicemen and women are doing in Pakistan and what these TERRORISTS have perpetrated here today.
Journalist2: “Oh sure, sure. Although… the drones are actually operated remotely from Creech, right…?”
Press Secretary: [interjecting] “…Ok, I think we’ve had enough of this line of questioning. We’ll take one from somebody else now please… Uhh, yes, how about you over there draped in the Star Spangled Banner?